Complete humiliation

1939, nine years old.
One of the lessons I learned during my early life was-- we will experience events that will result in our complete humiliation.  Maybe that's not so bad. Maybe we need such events to remind  us that we are not God's gift to humanity.  Let me tell you about two events that were absolutely humiliating.

I was leaving a Saturday movie matinee.  I still had ten cents in my pocket and that was just the right amount to purchase a bag of popcorn.  I had paused outside the theater and started to eat the popcorn.  A girl named Pearl Wallace came along and asked if she could have some of the popcorn.  I told her she could have some popcorn only in her dreams.  Pearl, who was two or three years older than I simply reached out and grabbed the bag and began to eat the popcorn.  I grabbed the bag and we began a tug-of-war.  I thought this had gone far enough and she should be disciplined.  I took a wild swing at Pearl and she ducked beneath my fist and then gave me a hard push.  I fell flat on my back and popcorn flew all over the sidewalk. Bear in mind, this occurred on a busy Saturday afternoon and half the population of Vernal seemed to be observing and thoroughly enjoying this event.  Let me tell you, I was completely embarrassed and humiliated. I started to plan revenge, but one of my friends warned me that no one challenges Pearl. She had successfully survived being raised with two mean brothers. I was warned to just forget the whole incident.  I did!

The second story - Dick Hullinger (my cousin) and I were playing in our front yard.  Mother stuck her head out the door and said, "Lamby Pie, would you come here for a moment."  Holy Toledo; my mother had called me lamby pie in front of one of my friends.  I looked out the corner of my eye and Dick was rolling on the ground laughing.  I could see him mouthing, lamby pie, lamby pie.  I wanted to kill him.  I went into the house and said to my mother, "never, never call me lamby pie in front of anyone again.  She promised that she wouldn't, but it was too late.  The damage had been done.

When I went back outdoors, Dick had disappeared.  Before long he came back with the first person he could find who was another cousin, Keith Hatch.  Then, they stood in front of our house and chanted "lamby pie, lamby pie."  I was devastated.  My best friend and cousin had betrayed me.  I stood there desperately trying to think of something that would stop these insults.  Finally in desperation I said, "Keith, I would rather that my mother call me lamby-pie than you little son-of-a-bitch which is what your mother calls you.  Since Keith knew this was true he went sulking off and Dick followed.  They never teased me again about lamby pie.

Grandpa's pertinent information: - Dumb things famous People said:

Senator Barry Goldwater while running for president in 1964 - "Many Americans don't like the simple things.  That's what they have against we conservatives."

Governor Alf Landon on the campaign trail against FDR; "Wherever I have gone in this country, I have found Americans."

Vice President Dan Quayle - "What a waste it is to lose one's mind.  Or to not have a mind.  How true that is."

Ronald Reagan - when asked what qualified him to be president: "I'm not smart enough to lie."

Another from Vice President Dan Quaylr - "I love California.  I practically grew up in Phoenix."

Actress Brooke Shields offered this zen view on cigarettes: "Smoking kills,  If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."