All names in this story are fictional. You'll understand why as you read on:
Our high school had a very enjoyable tradition. On a single day in the Spring, and before school
closed for summer break, the school allowed the senior class to completely cut a day from class attendance. This day was identified as the "Senior Slough." (pronounced sluff ) The senior class officers would decide where and how we would celebrate this free day. This group of class officers decided to spend the day traveling from our high school to Steamboat Spring, Colorado. The reason for this choice was that Steamboat Springs had a large Olympic size swimming pool. Our home town swimming pool was the size of the closest irrigation ditch. The distance to Steamboat Springs is 166 miles. The school said they would positively not furnish a school bus for such a trip.
Back to the Senior Sluff planning committee. The committee was getting very discouraged. No one could solve the transportation problem. Finally, Hank, who was the son of a cattle rancher asked. "Would the 85 class members consider riding to and from Steamboat Springs in a cattle truck?" He further explained that his father would furnish one of his cattle trucks and the only cost would be the cost of the diesel fuel. For all you non-country readers, a cattle truck is usually a 40 foot long flatbed trailer with racks installed around the perimeter of the flat bed to keep the cattle from falling off the truck.
After some discussion, one of the committee members said, "Hey, that sounds fun. Lets do it. And thus the travel problem was solved. The "senior sluff" was on go.
On the designated day of departure, the cattle truck arrived at the high school for loading of the cattle.
(oops) for the loading of the senior class members. Unfortunately, the truck did not depart in a blaze of glory. Every non-senior student was standing on the front lawn "mooing" and commenting how healthy this load of cattle looked. Some of the Junior class boys were commenting about how cute some of the heifers were. Every derogative comment ever invented was hurled at the departing seniors. But who cared, the seniors were on their way to glory.
The group arrived at the Steamboat Springs community swimming pool in a windblown, sunburned condition. The manager of the swimming pool had reserved the pool for this group for the entire day.
Into the dressing room they stormed and in a short time all were in the swimming pool. All except Cristy. To finish this story a description of Cristy is required.
Cristy was a fairly attractive young lady. However she did have one feature that was outstanding. (No pun intended) That feature was her bosom. She was well endowed. Whenever Cristy came to school in a one-size too small sweater, the boys all began salivating and the girls became green with envy. Cristy was the last person to immerge from the dressing room. She had chosen a two piece swim suit than was slightly more modest than a bikini. She ran and screamed "Canon ball" and jumped into infamy.
The flimsiness of the swim suit and the force of the water tore the top of the swim suit off her body.
Now for the most amazing part of the story. Evidently Cristy wanted to be certain that every one became aware of the size of her bosom. To assure this, Cristy had placed two falsie's in her swim suit top. When Cristy entered the water, the force of the water tore the top of her swim suit from her body and two falsies popped out and began bobbing around in the water. Poor Cristy! Picture this! She is in the deep end of the swimming pool; one hand is at her back holding the swim suit top in place; she is attempting to swim with one hand to recover the escaped falsies, and with each lunge at one of the falsies, it would be forced just beyond her reach.
Cristy clumsily climbed out of the swimming pool and ran sobbing into the dressing room. I had to smile when one of students who was on the Sluff told me this story. However, I felt sorrow for Cristy and the humiliation she felt. I hoped she finally reaches a point in her life when she can forget or even smile at the occasion.
Now for the best part of the story. The girls in this class quickly responded. As a group they entered the dressing room and surrounded Cristy. Every girl expressed their love and support for Cristy. They acknowledged the sorrow they felt for Cristy and how embarrassed they knew she felt. They told Crist that the boys felt the same way. The encouraged Crist to just forget the events and join the class members. They encouraged Cristy to forget that it ever happened and not a one of them would ever mention it in the future. Eventually Cristy displayed enough strength and courage to return to the group at the swimming pool.
I was so proud of Cristy's classmates as the gave Cristy comfort and strength to outlast a very humiliating experience.
Grandpa's wisdom concerning the perks of being over 83.
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
People call at 9 P.M. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You sing along with elevator music.
Your eyes won't get much worse.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
You can't remember who sent you this.
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