An imperfect memo

 During my first semester at the University of Utah, one of my classes was a  business
communications class.  The professor had made the following statement: "The goal of any written communication is not to assure that the reader understands, but rather to assure that the reader does not misunderstand".  Well, Duh, that seemed like an obvious statement.  Am I spending $92.00 per semester to be taught the obvious.

But, shortly after the class, I remembered an experience that occurred during my senior year in high school that confirmed the wisdom of the professor's statement.

Joan, (my very special girlfriend) and I were discussing during a Friday night date, what we could do the next day that would be exciting.  I suggested that we drive to Steamboat Springs, Colorado and spend the day at their Olympic size swimming pool. Dick, my cousin and his girl friend thought the idea was great and we all arranged to go the next day which was Saturday.

 Joan obtained approval from her mother to use her car for this trip with the promise that she would return on the same day.  However, Dick and his girlfriend backed out on Friday night. But Joan and I decided to move on with these great and glorious plans.   Steamboat Springs is 166 miles from Vernal. We decided to leave early Saturday morning so we could spend most of the day swimming and enjoying the sun.

When I returned home after my Friday night date with Joan, my mother was already sound asleep.  I wrote a note to her telling her my plans for the next day.  The note read: "Mom, Joan and I are going to Steamboat Springs and we'll be back tomorrow night".  Mom didn't realize that I had written the not the night before and "tomorrow night" referred to Saturday. 

The following morning mother arose early and quickly spotted the note.  After reading the note, she immediately broke into a mother's protection mode.  She screamed at my dad to wake up.  "Glen and Joan have gone to Colorado and won't be back until tomorrow.  That means they will be sleeping together somewhere in Colorado."  In a panic she called Joan's mother asking what she knew about our plans.  Joan's mother reassured her that we were good kids and would be back unscathed today.

Meanwhile, there was bad news when we reached Steamboat Spring.  The swimming pool was closed for an annual maintenance.  All entrances to the pool were securely locked.  Since we had left Vernal very early in the morning it was only 8:30 a.m.  What do we do now.  After a short discussion we did what any teen-agers would do.  We decided to drive on to Denver, another 180 miles.  When we reached Denver, we did absolutely nothing.  We drove the length of Colfax Ave. through Denver and then stopped for gasoline and turned around and started home.  Holy Moly, I'm embarrassed to enter this blog.  I can't believe I was such a stupid teen-ager. 

When I entered the house late that evening, my mother was still waiting for me.  I received a prolonged lecture about how I had caused her unmerciful misery.  I said, "But mom, I left you a note that said we would be home tomorrow.  We then discussed further whether tomorrow meant Saturday or Sunday.  However mom was so relieved for my return with my virtue still intact she soon forgave me.

One final note: Joan and I thoroughly enjoyed that long day.  We were together for almost twenty-four hours and it was wonderful. 

Grandpa's humor  -  For those who have spend too much time in a doctor's office.

Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.  Kevin said: 'Shingles.'  So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had ....  Kevin said, 'Shingles.'
So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had.  Kevin said 'Shingles'.  So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.

Kevin said 'Shingles.'  The doctor asked where?'

Kevin said "outside on the truck  Where do you want me to unload 'em??

You might be a Mormon

If all your dishes have your name written on them with masking tape.
If you postdate your checks while shopping on Sunday.
If you believe Heck is the place for people who do not believe in gosh.
If your Mom was pregnant at your sister's wedding reception.
If you pray that your food might "nourish and strengthen your body" before eating doughnuts.
If you think Jell-O is one of the basic food groups.
If at least one of your salad bowls is at a neighbor's house.

Have a happy day!