At one time during the history of farming, little chicks were created the old fashioned way. In early spring, farmers simply turned a Rooster loose among the hens. The Rooster was delighted to do his thing. After most of the hens had been fertilized, the farmer killed and ate the rooster. The hen would lay her eggs in a straw nest and then sit on the eggs until they started to hatch. By sitting on the eggs, the hen maintained the proper temperature for the development of the chick. The hen would also roll the eggs over on a regular basis so the temperature was uniform throughout the egg. This method of getting chicks was not very efficient. Sometimes the hen would just get tired of sitting on her nest twenty-four hours a day and would simply abandon the whole project. Even if she completed the job, the percentage of eggs that hatched was disappointing.
During the 1930's, chicken hatcheries began operating. The hens still had to be fertilized by a Rooster, but this was more of a mass-production type of fertilization. The Rooster was not personally involved. This, of course, took all of the fun out of personal fertilization by the Rooster, but chicken hatcheries were far more efficient. In a chicken hatchery, the eggs from fertilized Chickens are gathered, kept warm, and moved and sorted almost continuously from the time they are layed. Eventually they reach a point along the production line where the chicks begin to peck their way out of the shell. When this pecking is completed they are shipped all over the United States via U.S. parcel post.
You knew the chicks had arrived at a local post office because you could hear the cheeping of those cute little chicks all over town.. When I heard that the chicks had arrived, I hurried to the post office so I could see the chicks before the farmers arrived and transferred their chicks to their farms. There was usually a kind post office employ who would remove the top of a box so I could observe those cute little chicks.
Coincidentally, the roosters didn't take the loss (of their roll in creating new chicks) lying down. I understand they formed a national organization and asked the ACLU for assistance in returning to the original fertilization method. The ACLU refused and stated they were not interested in the birth of chicks. They were far too busy defending the rights of humans to murder their babies. The Rooster then submitted their case to the Federal Advisory Council on Historic Preservation. The Roosters maintained that their personal involvement in the fertilization process was historic. In fact, they argued that this procedure of fertilization began at the time of Adam and Eve and any change in this tradition would adversely effect their religious heritage. This was a mistake on the part of the Roosters. The Advisory Council stated they couldn't support any one who believed the Adam and Eve story.
The Roosters then approached the Republican National Committee , thinking perhaps they would support their cause. The Republicans stated it was a good cause, but asked what the costs would be and how would it affect unemployment. They wanted the Roosters to submit an itemized analysis of costs and benefits, projected over a 25 year period. Since the Roosters did not have an accountant or politician in their flock, they were forced to cancel their request.
The Progressives, ( the political party of the little people) sided with the Roosters.but mentioned that they did not believe that any sensible person would believe in the Adam & Eve story. They maintained the creation of chicks occurred during the Big Bang and therefore would not help the Roosters.
The president was also involved in this discussion and stated that this procedure was absolutely unfair. Since we must be fair to Roosters, he issued an executive order to the Department of Agriculture to publish a document making it mandatory to create chicks the old fashioned way. The Department of Agriculture asked the Senate for assistance in writing this document. The Senate turned the project over to their legal department (consisting of 750 attorney's none of whom knew what a Rooster looked like). At last count, the Department of Agriculture document was now 7,250 pages long and still growing. Upon examination of the proposed document, it was found to include 232 bills that had nothing to do with Roosters, but would have cost the taxpayer 1.5 trillion if left in the Rooster bill.
The Roosters are growing impatient and are now proceeding to appeal to the Supreme Court for justice. The Supreme court issued an preliminary ruling that a circuit court must first consider this problem.
The State Department became involved in this project and said that all new chicks should be obtained from Afghanistan They ordered that a gift of 7.7 billion dollars be sent to Afghanistan to help them start raising chicks. They said this gift would improve our relationship with the down trodden countries of the world. This refers, of course, to all the countries who are busy training men to sneak into our country and destroy everyone and everything including the Roosters.
If after reading this blog you may get a vague impression that I don't have much faith in our Federal Government; you are absolutely right.
Lots of luck to the Roosters.
That makes two of us!
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