Learning to Drive

13 years old, 1943.

When I was thirteen years old, I started to drive the family car.  The reason my father let me drive at such a young age was that my mother did not drive at all.  Since Dad was working long hours, I was elected to chauffeur my mother whenever she needed to run necessary errands. Also, my father owned and operated a small grocery store.  Many of his customers were older and did their grocery shopping over the telephone.  They would call the store and request that the groceries be delivered.  Since the store was a one-man operation, I was allowed to drive the car and deliver the groceries.  My father had checked with Sammy Hatch, (who was the Utah State Highway Patrolman in Uintah and Duchesne counties in Utah),.as to whether a special driving permit could be obtained. The answer was no!  There was not a special permit available.  However, Sammy said he would not give me a ticket, but warned dad that if I was involved in an accident, it would be my fault even if it wasn't.  So I started to drive, and I was delighted.

Our car was a 1935 Ford sedan. Because of the war, new automobiles were not available. All automobile production plants had been converted to the production of military vehicles.  Let me describe this car:  It had mechanical brakes rather than hydraulic brakes. This meant that much more pressure had to be put on the brake pedal and it took much longer to stop the car.  Also, it did not have sealed-beam headlights.  With these old type headlights, the beam would just barely reach over the front fenders. Part of the roof of this car was rag top, meaning that the top of the car was not all sheet metal.  A big portion of the roof had a cloth covering.  Over the years this covering had worn out and whenever it rained, the driver received a free shower.  It was similar to sitting under a water fall.  Also, the car did not have an automatic transmission.  So in addition to avoiding telephone poles, it was necessary to shift gears manually to get the car moving or to go up over any incline in the road.   I quickly discovered that the top speed was about 65 MPH and at that speed all kinds of interesting shakes and rumbles occurred. I also learned that there were few if any other cars on the road that were not faster.  That didn't prevent me from challenging them.  But who cared, I was still permitted to drive our car.

Good or Bad Economy?

I don't believe the government when they say our economy is on the verge of becoming good.  I have my own method of evaluating our economy.  The following indicators plainly show that the economy is bad, bad, bad!

1- I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail
2- I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford it?"
3- McDonald's is now selling the 1/4 ouncer.
4- Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
5- Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
6- A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
7- Motel Six won't leave the lights on anymore.
8- I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings retirement funds, etc. I called the Suicide Lifeline.  I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I said I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked it I could drive a truck.
9- Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madocc scandal.  Oh Great!!  The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
10- The Secret Service scandal was discovered when a disagreement on how much a prostitute wanted for her services came to light.  She wanted $800.00.  The Secret Service Agent offered $30.00.  How ironic is it that the only parson in Washington willing to cut spending gets fired?

An Old Farmer's Advice

Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.


A true statement - or so they say. - Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey in the 1500's.  The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days.  Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.  They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.  Hence the custom of holding a "wake".

Another groaner - A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down.  You'll just have to be a little patient."