Joining the Boy Scouts

1943, 13 years old
My church supported the Boy Scouts and in fact sponsored a troop in the Boy Scouts.  Joining seemed to be the thing to do since all my friends were active in this troop.  The entry level to the Scouts was designated as the Tenderfoot level.  After you achieved certain goals you were promoted from a Tenderfoot scout  to a Second-class scout, and beyond that to a First-class scout, then to a Star scout and finally to an Eagle Scout.
When you became an Eagle scout your parents made a big fuss about how special you were and gave you all kinds of privileges that were untouchable before.

One of the challenges a Tenderfoot scout was given was to start a campfire using only two matches and no paper.  This was fairly easy if you had even a minimum amount of patience.  Unfortunately, I was not on a first name relationship with patience. So, off to my scoutmaster's home I went to start a fire with only two matches.

He left me alone in his back yard to start the fire. I quickly gathered something that looked like it would burn and used the first match.  No success.  I didn't even get some smoke.  Well, I thought, it will certainly catch fire with the second match.  No sir, it didn't.  I had come to the test with a good supply of extra matches in my pocket so continued to use the third, fourth, fifth and sixth matches.  Still no fire.  At this time I realized that I would have to do what I had been taught in scouting: i.e.gather a small amount of dried grass or small shavings of wood or small pieces of anything  else that would quickly catch fire. I finally did this and in no time at all I had created a very healthy fire.

When the scoutmaster returned, there was a roaring fire and he asked me if I had used more than two matches.  "Yes", I replied, " I used seven or eight"  The scoutmaster seemed to be impressed with my honesty and said because I had told the truth, he would pass me even if I had used too many matches.  He suggested that I obtain a automatic cigarette lighter and carry it with me if at any time in the future I was hiking into a wilderness area on a cold winter day.

If Biblical Headlines were written by today's liberal Media.

On David vs. Goliath: - Hate Crime Kills Beloved Champion. Psychologist questions influence of rock.

On Red Sea crossing:  - Wetlands trampled in labor strike.  Pursuing environmentalists killed.

On Elijah on Mt. Carmel: - Fire sends religious right extremist into frenzy.  400 killed.

On the Birth of Christ: - Hotels full; Animals left homeless.

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.  Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.  Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"  Little J. responded, "I have pain in my side.  I think I'm going to have a wife."

Grandpa's wisdom:  You don't stop laughing because you grow old.  You grow old because you stop laughing!

The Feds haven't found a way to tax us for laughing.  But I'm certain they will soon come us with something.