Tuesday, July 30, 2013

High School Football

17 year old, 1947

High school basketball season was over.  Once again we failed to win the district title.  It was still an enjoyable season because I was one of the starting guards on the team.  After the basketball season was over, the football coach asked me to "try out" for the football team.  Since only about 15 players had tried out for the football team, the football coach desperately needed  more members on the team.  He convinced me that I was all-state material as an end.  I thought that was a fairly accurate analysis so I agreed to try out for the team.

Because all of the high schools in our district had limited student enrollment, the district played 6-man football rather than 11-man football.  These six men consisted of the center and two ends on the line and the quarter back and two running backs behind the line. 

Two memories of the "try-out" are still imbedded deeply in my mind even after sixty-five years.  The coach divided his "squad" into two lines facing each other.  These lines were about ten yards apart.  When the coach blew his whistle the players at the front of each line would run together at top speed with one objective in mind - KILL!  If you couldn't kill then you should certainly maim.  After this collision was over, each player staggered to the end of the line to anxiously await his turn to repeat another collision.  It was jolly good fun and brought out all the praiseworthy football character traits  such as gouging and kicking and spitting and cussing.

Actually, I only had to survive about three of these collisions, because I found myself lying on the ground suffering from severe "charley horses" (in both legs at the same time).  I wanted to scream in pain but intuitively knew that football players are not supposed to scream.  They just lie there and "suck it up".

That was only the beginning.  The coach informed us that during the length of the football season we were to live a very Spartan life.  I didn't know what that meant but it sounded romantic.  He continued his instructions and informed us that we could not eat ice cream or date girls and we had to be in bed by 9:00 p.m. (our own beds).  I'm not kidding.  It was OK to talk to girls but only in the hallway between class changes.

Well I proudly survived "try-outs" and was now an official member of the Uintah High School football team.  It was at this time that a terrifying thought came into my mind.  Basketball season had lasted about four months.  Football season would now last about two months. This meant that for the final two months of my senior year in high school, I couldn't date Joan.  Even more serious, I couldn't eat ice cream.  A decision was required.  I could seek fame and fortune on the football field at Uintah High School or I could date Joan and eat ice cream.  I made my choice in about one Nano-second and took an early retirement from football.

GRANDPA'S WISDOM

Making correct decisions in this life is very important.  Following are some bad decisions that can result in severe consequences:
     Pick up a mountain lion cub because you don't see the mother around.
     Pull a squirt gun on a Los Angeles cop for a joke.
     Wear white linen to a barbecue.
     Offer to carry a nervous Arab's suitcase on an airplane.
     Underestimate the length of your Bungee cord.
     Remember, marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

Another "Stella Award"

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500. after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her tailbone.  The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boy friend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

That's when the fight began:
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.  I don't like to interrupt her.
I take my wife everywhere --- but she keeps finding her way back.
  




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